Rapists won a resounding victory in the South Dakota State Legislature today. Thanks to the efforts of South Dakotan politicians, sexual predators across the state can be grateful that they now have the right to become fathers at the expense and burden of their victims. Beginning July 1, their victims will be forced to carry their children. They will also find it satisfying to know that in addition to the overwhelming trauma they have already incurred, their prey will be obligated to nine months of pain, discomfort, and body distortion. This period will end with several hours to days of extreme pain, after which the lucky perpetrators can enjoy fatherhood (and even grandfatherhood). Those who don’t wish to become mothers are advised to not get raped in South Dakota.